How can you emerge victorious out of every challenging situation in your life? How can you beat up every record and come on top? How can you be at the level best in every field of your life? How can you ace at everything thrown at you? These questions sum up all the child-like dreams of being a master or hero that every 18 years old teenager is carry on in their heads. However, the complexity of these questions is that in real life, none of the things mentioned are possible or do-able. Such perfection is possible only in the life of fiction, however, a certain level of things are achievable on personal, social, professional, or academic life with Self-mastery. Therefore, we can emerge victorious out of every challenging situation, we can beat up every record and come on top and we can ace at everything thrown at us by attaining Self-Mastery in life through changing the command of the mind, being mindful, and being emotionally Intelligent.
Attaining Self-Mastery | Step 1
We all on the daily basis feel we are powerless and incapable to act against certain situations in life. – We feel we are not good enough, we don’t think we are smart or funny enough, we think our jokes are not entertaining enough, we think we cannot be as capable and accomplished at everything like others. And we feel all defeated and like a loser. However, we feel we are incapable and powerless because we have fed our mind with every day reinforcements that we are not good with this, we are not good with that, and that causes our body to feel and respond similarly. Our mind has the duty to keep us safe and sustaining in life, so that is the reason it saves daddy’s words ‘’ shut up, stop that annoying sound’’, when you were singing and he was angry at something. However, the mind has a duty to next time remind you to shut up because your voice is annoying anytime when you were around dad. This will become part of the subconscious mind and will keep on reminding you whenever you were around dad. This was a dangerous message but nonetheless, important for your survival. Similarly, the body reacts too in that situation, the brain prepares signals for the body, releases chemicals in the bloodstream and the influx of signals and chemicals readies the body to act and feel in a certain way. For example: in a moment of joy, the subconscious mind pictures beautiful things, promising things, and reinforces it yet with numbers of beautiful events and the brain picks up the signals and prepares joyous chemical and rushes it to the body and bloodstreams and making the body feel joyful and blissful. Inadvertently we all commit this mistake we all reinforce our brain with disparaging and belittling thoughts every day. On the contrary, we should help ourselves with appreciating and encouraging thoughts. So to be master of the self we on the first step should take command of the subconscious thoughts and do not let the subconscious level thought to control your actions and decision.
Attaining Self-Mastery | Step 2
Secondly, the next step to self-mastery is being mindful. Mindfulness is the art to observe everything and not missing out on anything important. When we are mindful, we analyze everything, we keep a tab open on everything happening in our mind and we keep into consideration anything coming and going out of our lives because everything serves a purpose and might have the potential to add something significant to our lives. When we are mindful, we are aware of the situation we are in, we acknowledge the risks and the dangers, however, we do not let emotions take over, and we do not let ourselves be overtaken from inside or outside. Have you ever felt like someone else is controlling your emotions? If you’ve got five minutes I will tell you who that is and how you can control them.
Here’s a little story to help explain
The story is about Mary and like most of us Mary has a brain and like many of us Mary takes her brain along with her to work. Recently Mary’s boss confronted her and a co-worker Alice about not having a project completed on time. After the meeting Mary was devastated, Alice, on the other hand, shook it off celebrating that it was the end of the day and the week and she was focused on enjoying the weekend. However, Mary ended up spending the weekend with massive anxiousness, anger, and tears. Paralyzed on her couch binging on Netflix and on potato chips and drinks. Mary and Alice experienced the same situation. So how could their reactions be so different? Who or what could be controlling their reactions.
Let’s return to the scene of the crime so to speak and take a look at what was happening with Mary and Mary’s other co-partner, her brain. As Mary’s boss was confronting her, long before her conscious mind recognized anything all of this happening, in microseconds Mary’s subconscious was busy doing what it was designed to do to protect her.
Here’s a little metaphor that may help to elaborate further.
Think of your subconscious mind as a vast warehouse filled with all the things that you’ve ever experienced in your entire life all of this data is stored in the form of interpreted memories, containing meaning. These memories serve as the building blocks of who we’ve become and how we see ourselves in the world around us. As we experience situations in our day-to-day lives, the subconscious is constantly referring to all the data that has been stored to dictate our reactions to those situations. The subconscious is primarily concerned with self-preservation and it will do this by keeping us in alignment with the beliefs and the proofs that have been created and stored it’s not interested in logic or reason and for better or worse this system works because it’s kept us alive thus far.
Now using the example of the meeting with her boss, let’s take a peek inside Mary’s subconscious warehouse and see what has made Mary feel that way. Jim is the operations manager in the warehouse who is keeping a close eye on things and has already recognized Mary’s situation and has sent an urgent memo to the warehouse crew to start searching for the closest match to what’s happening so that a reaction can be formed. The memo is rushed back to Bob and Larry in the warehouse who quickly snap away from their coffee break and start searching through all of the boxes of old memories. Larry stumbles across a picture of Coach Greene from sixth grade who’s publicly humiliating Mary in front of the whole basketball team and another of Mrs. Ramsbrand, the third-grade teacher who’s yelling at Mary for not having her homework done. Bob finds an old VHS tape of Mary’s dad reprimanding her for spilling milk at the dinner table when she was three. Bob and Larry quickly gather up these and a few other related memories and rushed them down to the limbic department where Ned quickly calculates the exact signals and chemicals needed to send out into Mary’s bloodstream which will produce feelings and sensations of humiliation, unworthiness, resignation. This in turn will have caused Mary to experience the familiar feelings of stress when she is in the meeting with her boss and now becoming aware of the sudden flood of chemicals in the system. Eugene the CEO of the little operation also known as the conscious mind and who by the way is unaware of everything that’s been going on in the back, steps in and tries to assign blame for Mary’s feelings. Meanwhile, Bob and Larry in the warehouse now take the new memory of Mary with her boss and file it in the big box labeled not-worthy. Thus adding one more proof for Mary that she is in fact unworthy and that she should feel intimidated around authority figures and have low self-esteem and even though Mary may not be feeling great, the subconscious team has expertly done its job once again.
Applause once again for keeping Mary alive in the face of anything. Now back to the story. It’s Monday morning and Alice’s had a great weekend and jumps in to finish off the project. She’s operating from a completely different set of memories and proofs than Mary who on the other hand has spent the entire weekend replaying the incident in her mind and living in a state of stress and now is wondering who and what is in control of her emotions. So as I promised earlier I will now reveal the culprits who are controlling your emotions and reactions. And as you may have guessed it’s Bob and Larry who are the cause. In other words, the way that we feel and how we react are dictated by what the subconscious is referring to as proof, those old memories. The key to controlling Bob and Larry and transforming your life is to change the stuff in the boxes to change the old negative memories to positive and change our reaction to our emotions by mastering our emotions and becoming emotionally intelligent.
It is the subconscious mind that is provoking our emotions, now like Mary you don’t have to let your subconscious mind overtake and make you feel like in a way that you are a loser you have to let go of the attachment to the past similar events that made you feel like it now. You have to understand that an emotionally intelligent person would soon realize the emotion is emerging from a misplaced disposition of something about you. A high EQ person will pay no heed to his emotion since it is coming from a place in the past, and on the opposite, we should not lose attention on the present and focus on what we are doing now. We have to unlike Mary who was controlled by her emotion, should not subside for emotions to take over, instead, we should understand and be first aware of the emotion and pay attention to the triggers of our emotions. So that’s how being mindful of everything we face can help us in the way to self-mastery.
Attaining Self-Mastery | Step 3
Thirdly, everything in this universe has a purpose, a function, even emotions. Emotions have a purpose. To be emotionally Intelligent means to understand the powerful emotions of yours and of others, and to handle them properly, The person who can understand the emotions of others which can influence him and vice versa will be able to attain mastery in controlling his emotion and reaction. Because to him everything that is directed and apprehended is not only meant to be reacted against but taken into consideration, is to be reflected on and scrutinized for meaning and purpose for that certain feeling, emotion, proposition, sentiment, all can give out messages and information. Using that mindset, a man can grow exponentially. He can learn to grow mature with each step he takes. He will eventually learn when to overlook his emotions and not be controlled by it when to be serious about the sensation he gets and when to act upon them. A mature person will know how to control his emotions, knows when to be angry, when to be sensational, how to make a balance between his personal and social life, knows how to manage his relations with different types of people and how to manage his emotion, because emotion is what prescribes our actions and colors our world. The one who can master the emotions can master actions, and the one who masters actions is the master of self. Today we look at the stories of 2 different men, 2 different world views, 2 different goals, and, ultimately, 2 different paths. Consider Alexander, He believes that there are two kinds of people in the world: the conquerors and the conquered. If you want to be great, you have to become a conqueror. It’s a dog-eat-dog world and only the fit survive. You have to determine who will conquer with you and whom you must conquer. Alexander read a lot as a kid. He fell in love with Greek heroes who displayed the highest virtues: courage and bravery. They were leaders — not followers. He didn’t have much as a kid and had to work hard for everything he had. This led him to believe that a person’s life is the outcome of their actions and that they must take complete responsibility for what happens to them. Physically and intellectually, he held himself to incredibly high standards. There’s no one he wanted to conquer more than himself, each and every day. One day, he encountered a homeless man. The man asked him for some change. Alexander knew what he was seeing: a conquered man. How could this man let himself be conquered so badly? How many mistakes must he have made to end up in this position? Why doesn’t he take steps to dig himself out of this hole? Instead, he’s taking the lazy way out. He’s trying to take from those who worked hard for what they have. Those who made good decisions should not be punished by those who made bad decisions. Alexander knew that if the man wanted to eat, he needed to learn how to fish and not have fish given to him. He became enraged by the man’s weakness. “This man won’t get a penny from me”, he thought to himself, “that would only enable his destructive behaviors and poor attitude towards life. By suffering, he’ll learn or he’ll die; that’s the way the world works.”
Now, consider, Joseph. He believes that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who can help and those who need to be helped. His father taught him that the highest good is to serve those who have nothing and to lift them up. Life is difficult, and those who have should serve those who have not. Joseph read a lot as a kid. He fell in love with various spiritual leaders who loved all and lived to serve. He grew up quite well off and always felt indebted to those who didn’t. He felt lucky to have everything that he did. One day, he encountered a homeless man. The man asked him for some change. Joseph knew what he was seeing: a completely under-served man. This man had been abandoned by society. Joseph felt like weeping. “Imagine how much we have failed as a society to let someone get to this point,” he thought to himself, “life is so difficult and full of suffering and based on luck, that any one of us could end up in his position.” He grabbed all the money he had in his pocket and handed it to the man.
And so, both stories end here. Both men had unique worldviews shaped by their past experiences. They both perceived the same man in a different light. Where one saw a weak man, the other saw forsaken man. Their perceptions led them to feel different emotions. Their emotions were heavily affected by what they thought they were seeing. both men were surrounded by an invisible structure referred to as culture or environment. The knowledge they grabbed from this structure allows them to navigate the world. Alex grew up in a structure of personality responsibility, of strength & weakness. He can only see people in this way. It’s all he knows. Joseph grew up in a structure of collective responsibility, of the needy & the fortunate. He can only see people in this way. One might wonder, if you could change the invisible structure that surrounds these men if they reversed the books they read or the family that they had, would they perceive the world differently? If they perceive the world differently, would they feel differently? The master of emotions, then, is the one who can alter the invisible structure around them. This allows them to gather a diverse set of concepts which allows them to see the same scenario in different ways. They would be neither Alexander nor Joseph. They would be both. They could become either one depending on the circumstances. That is when they attain self-mastery and become masters of the self -when they getting emotionally intelligent and don’t perceive and act upon everything in the world only through his view.
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#Chage command of the mind from subconscious to conscious mind to attain self mastery
#Become mindful of everything, don’t give control of yourself to the hands of emotions which is triggered subconscious mind in order to attain self-mastery
#Become emotionally intelligent, Everything has a purpose, understand the broader concepts of everything without giving in to emotions and being controlled by them, then you can attain self-mastery.
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